I felt deeply unloved and invisible as a child.
My parents gave me life, but not a sense of safety or security, and definitely not a blueprint of how to parent my own kids when the time came.
When my children were babies and toddlers, it felt like enough to just be present and meet their basic needs - loving touch, clothing, food, shelter.
But when I saw my daughter bite her lip and hold her breath when tears wanted to flow, and my son develop a hair trigger to any perceived slight was when the awareness came that they had learned those patterns of behavior from ME.
*I* had shown my daughter that it wasn’t ok to feel and express emotions.
*I* had taught my son that when something didn’t go to plan the sky was falling.
As my heart broke a little bit, I also took a deep breath and had to own that they had learned these things because it was the behavior they had seen modeled by their mother. Patterns modeled by ME.
In that awareness, I also knew that the way to be the mother I wanted to be would require me to face my own demons and the wounds my own parents had inflicted.
It’s because of the commitment to my own healing and developing a greater sense of connection with myself, that I have been able to show up as the mother I desperately wanted and needed.
I believe that through my own healing process, I set both myself AND my children free from some of my trauma.
If you’re ready to do your own work, to liberate yourself and the ones you love the most free from old pain and patterns, I’d love to support you in doing so. DM me and we’ll set up your first session or an explore call to talk about how I can help.