During a recent breathwork experience, I received a very clear message. It was as if a voice was whispering in my ear and it said to me, “If you hide, they can’t see you.”
When I heard this come through, it was in the midst of re-experiencing a time or times in my childhood where I would make myself very small and quiet wherever I was at, or would physically hide myself away in a closet or other secret space. My parents were/are addicts and my mother-by-birth also has mental health issues, so catching her attention when she was in an agitated state would often lead to sad or scary times for me. Because of this, hiding, often in plain sight, was a safety strategy that I learned early and used often.
Hiding continued to play a part in my life as I got older, and sometimes still does today, though I’m much more aware of it, which allows me the ability to make a choice about how I respond (instead of react) to stressful situations.
As I’ve been mulling how and when to shift gears with Nature’s Wisdom into deeper, more personal work with clients, my tendency to hide once again has risen up. I’ve been hiding, and not allowing current and potential clients to really see ME and the full spectrum of the offerings I have available.
I was lovingly called out on my hiding habit by two super savvy souls, whom I love and respect, over the past year. It was brought to my attention that in order to truly make the shift into the work that my heart wants to do, I must be more vulnerable and transparent about my own journey.
Doing my own personal work is what has made facilitating something similar for others possible, with authenticity. It’s what enables me to empathize deeply and offers a point of connection for others who want or need to know that they are not alone in their suffering. It helps other in knowing that there are pathways you can traverse to find more freedom, peace, and joy within your body and mind.
So I’m starting here. Today. By sharing a piece of my own story and my own heart with you.
Dr. Brene Brown tells us that shame holds us hostage by convincing us that we are alone in our suffering, guilt, pain, etc., and shame warns us not to tell others for fear of rejection. But when we share vulnerably - with trusted people - we break free from the shackles of shame and make deep, heartfelt connections and healing possible.
Through looking at my own shadow, with the assistance of my own trusted mentors, family, and dear friends, I’ve found that there is a way to create more room for physical healing, and also for more laughter, love, and joy. Not to mentions the ability to cultivate more intimate, deeply connected, honest, and fulfilling relationships.
Being really, truly seen and heard by another human has initiated profound change in my life. And to bear witness to the clients that enter my office is my utmost privilege.